Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Dance Of A Lifetime









In the summer recess between freshman and sophomore 
years in college, I was invited to be an instructor at 
a high school leadership camp hosted by a college in 
Michigan. I was already highly involved in most campus 
activities, and I jumped at the opportunity. 


About an hour into the first day of camp, amid 
the frenzy of icebreakers and forced interactions, 
I first noticed the boy under the tree. He was small 
and skinny, and his obvious discomfort and shyness 
made him appear frail and fragile. Only 50 feet 
away, 200 eager campers were bumping bodies, playing,
 joking and meeting each other, but the boy under 
the tree seemed to want to be anywhere other than 
where he was. The desperate loneliness he radiated 
almost stopped me from approaching him, but I 
remembered the instructions from the senior staff 
to stay alert for campers who might feel left out. 


As I walked toward him I said, "Hi, my name is Kevin 
and I'm one of the counselors. It's nice to meet you. 
How are you?" 

In a shaky, sheepish voice he reluctantly answered, 
"Okay, I guess." 

I calmly asked him if he wanted to join the activities 
and meet some new people. He quietly replied, "No, 
this is not really my thing." 


I could sense that he was in a new world, that this 
whole experience was foreign to him. But I somehow 
knew it wouldn't be right to push him, either. He didn't 
need a pep talk, he needed a friend. After several 
silent moments, my first interaction with the boy under 
the tree was over. 


At lunch the next day, I found myself leading camp 
songs at the top of my lungs for 200 of my new friends. 
The campers were eagerly participated. My gaze 
wandered over the mass of noise and movement and was 
caught by the image of the boy from under the tree, 
sitting alone, staring out the window. I nearly forgot 
the words to the song I was supposed to be leading. At 
my first opportunity, I tried again, with the same 
questions as before: "How are you doing? Are you 
okay?" 


To which he again replied, "Yeah, I'm alright. I just 
don't really get into this stuff". 

As I left the cafeteria, I too realized this was going 
to take more time and effort than I had thought - if 
it was even possible to get through to him at all. 


That evening at our nightly staff meeting, I made my 
concerns about him known. I explained to my fellow 
staff members my impression of him and asked them 
to pay special attention and spend time with him when 
they could. 


The days I spend at camp each year fly by faster 
than any others I have known. Thus, before I knew 
it, mid-week had dissolved into the final night of 
camp and I was chaperoning the "last dance". The 
students were doing all they could to savor every 
last moment with their new "best friends" - friends 
they would probably never see again. 


As I watched the campers share their parting moments, 
I suddenly saw what would be one of the most vivid 
memories of my life. The boy from under the tree, 
who stared blankly out the kitchen window, was now 
a shirtless dancing wonder. He owned the dance floor 
as he and two girls proceeded to cut up a rug. I watched 
as he shared meaningful, intimate time with people 
at whom he couldn't even look just days earlier. I 
couldn't believe it was him. 


In October of my sophomore year, a late-night phone 
call pulled me away from my chemistry  book. A soft-
spoken, unfamiliar voice asked politely, "Is Kevin there?" 

"You're talking to him. Who's this?" 


"This is Tom Johnson's mom. Do you remember Tommy 
from leadership camp? 

The boy under the tree. How could I not remember? 

"Yes, I do", I said. "He's a very nice young man. 
How is he?" 


An abnormally long pause followed, then Mrs. Johnson 
said, "My Tommy was walking home from school this week 
when he was hit by a car and killed." Shocked, I offered 
my condolences. 


"I just wanted to call you", she said, "because Tommy 
mentioned you so many times. I wanted you to know that 
he went back to school this fall with confidence. He made 
new friends. His grades went up. And he even went out on 
a few dates. I just wanted to thank you for making a 
difference for Tom. The last few months were the best 
few months of his life." 


In that instant, I realized how easy it is to give a bit 
of yourself every day. You may never know how much 
each gesture may mean to someone else. I tell this 
story as often as I can, and when I do, I urge others 
to look out for their own "boy under the tree." 

~by David Coleman and Kevin Randall~

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